“A grandparent is a little bit parent, a little bit teacher, and a little bit best friend.“

– Anonymous

When a child is in the nursery or pre-nursery section, he/she learns that the parents of your parents are called the grandparents. The father’s parents are your paternal grandparents and your mother’s are your maternal. In Hindi, we simply call the paternals as Dada and Dadi while the maternals are known as Nana and Nani.

But is that all there is to the word? No, definitely not. I don’t know about others but in my case, my grandparents played a very crucial role in my life.

Just a little background to my life, I live in Ranchi, Jharkhand and my parents are both working. So the biggest issue when I was born was how will I be raised if both of them worked? And that was when my Nannu and Nani stepped up and took me with them to raise me. The best thing apparently was that my parents lived somewhat in the same colony as my nana Nani. So it was a win-win. I started growing up at my “Nani Ghar” (Maternal grandparents’ place). With time I grew so fond of my Nannu and Nani that I started my Nani as “mummy”. (So for all those who didn’t get it by any chance- Mummy means mother in Hindi, so I started calling my grandmom as mom. My Nani Ghar was a pure vegetarian household, to an extent that they didn’t even eat onion and garlic. My Nannu used to take me to parks on his scooter every evening, we would sit on the bench and eat ‘Uncle Chips’ while watching sunflowers face towards the sun. At night my Nani would make me something really delicious and after dinner, we would sit in our garden and Nannu would talk to me about stars and constellations, about life, about biology (that’s why I love biology) and make me learn mathematics tables as well (those two ones are stuff). Life went pretty smoothly and I was loving it.

Then came the time to go to playschool. Me, the usual tantrum guy started crying the moment mummy left me at the playschool. My mummy got so anxious that she stayed in the garden of the school the entire day just to make sure that I was alright (Yup, my Nani loves me that much!!). With time I got 4 years old. I started going to a bigger school and lived with my parents. But since my Nani Ghar was in the same city, I would visit them a lot.

My Nannu was so fond of me that he used to be the happiest person on earth for my achievements however small it might be. He used to get more worried than my mother when I got sick or hurt. He would make sure that I get whatever I asked him. He would bring me bourbon biscuits whenever he would come to see me. Mummy (Nani) was no less. She would scold my mom for scolding me and for not giving me what I want. They always have been my guardian angels.

18th July 2020. 2020 was already a pathetic year due to several reasons. Nannu too had been ill for a couple of years. His kidneys were failing. On the said date, I got the call I never wanted to pick up ever. The call said that Nannu was no more.

If being upset, shocked with disbelief, heartbroken, on verge of crying and unable to digest a fact had a face, that would have been my expression at the time. I reached my Nani Ghar only to hear wails of crying in the house. I looked at Nannu. He looked so… at peace! Tears dwelled down my eyes although I tried to control them a lot. How could this happen!? Why now?? I was in utter disbelief. The person who believed the most in me was no more???? That couldn’t be true!!

I fell silent, I cried in the balcony, I cried in the bathroom. I avoided crying in front of everyone because I knew if I did then my mummy would become inconsolable. I silently did whatever was asked for the final rites.

Watching Nannu on the pier was worse than my worst nightmares. That man who was always there for me was gone! He left me. He had promised to be there but he just…. broke his promise….

It had been more than 2 weeks while writing this post, and even now I am unable to control my tears. I am unable to make peace with the fact so ugly. The only negligible consolation to me is that Nannu did not suffer much due to his disease. But still every day I wake up hoping that it is all a dream. I don’t understand what to do now. How to talk to people, how to do anything. From holding my hand as I learnt to walk to my love for biology, everything in life is the way it is because of my Nannu’s influence. Whatever I do, I am reminded of him, of the fact that he is no more. I don’t feel like doing anything.

To some, this kind of bonding might sound unrealistic, but trust me, to me, those two people have not just been my grandparents, they have been my everything, from being a parent, a teacher, a best friend to I don’t even know what all. The relationship we shared was like none I have ever seen in real or reel life. Situations have become such that I fear to talk to mummy (Nani) on call because I don’t know if I’ll be able to console her. I fear that I myself will start crying and that would worsen the situation. They were not my grandparents they were my GRAND parents. They were the parents who exponentialised (if that’s even a term) everything a parent does and still did more than that for me.

This first post is dedicated to you Nannu… All I can do now is just hope that you are happy now. I can’t describe the extend to which you are being missed…..

With love,

Your GrandSon.

-Sauhard Shrivastava

© The Prarabdh 2020